


Let Me Think of a Metaphor…Love is Like a Candy! (Wait, That’s a Simile)

by Aerica_Menai



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Gen, Historical Shenanigans, M/M, Post-Canon, Valentine's Day Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:42:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29434782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aerica_Menai/pseuds/Aerica_Menai
Summary: Joe and Nicky tell Nile the origins of Valentine's day... (a story that Andy promptly debunks)
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	Let Me Think of a Metaphor…Love is Like a Candy! (Wait, That’s a Simile)

**Author's Note:**

> A little bit of post-canon Valentine's Day fluff for the Old Guard! Hope you enjoy :)
> 
> Beta'd by the always-amazing @grayraincurtain <3
> 
> Title from Keep It Comin’ by Love Arcade

“So, Valentine’s Day is coming up, do you guys have any special plans that Andy and I should *not* be here for?” Nile suddenly asked over breakfast.

Joe blinked at her before turning to face Nicky, who was standing at the stove and still making pancakes. “Nicky? Valentine’s?”

Nicky hummed thoughtfully. “St. Valentine? Which one?”

“Really? You two, the couple in the longest relationship in freaking existence, don’t know about Valentine’s Day? Y’know, hearts and chocolate and roses?” Nile asked skeptically.

“Oh! Yes, I remember now – he’s the one who officiated our first marriage!” Joe cried.

“Ah, *that* St. Valentine. Si, si,” Nicky agreed. “No special plans for that day, Nile; you can relax.”

“No, no, wait – St. Valentine married you guys??”

“Oh yes, it was very spur-of-the-moment, but I just knew it was the right time – and apparently we started a bit of trend back then, as well,” Joe mused. “Pity he got martyred for it.”

“It was far too easy to get martyred back then,” Nicky sighed.

“No, wait a second – was officiating a marriage between two guys even legal back then?” Nile asked, very confused.

“Indeed, but this silver-tongued husband of mine worked his magic,” Nicky chuckled, flicking some excess batter at a smirking Joe. “And we did say he was martyred afterward, did we not?”

“Habibi, no,” Joe corrected. “He wasn’t martyred because of us, it was all the marriages after us, remember?”

“Perhaps you are right,” Nicky responded. “I can’t say I remember the days that followed very clearly – ” 

“Okay, gross, stop right there,” Nile cried as the older couple exchanged smirks. “I get it, love central etc. But…you guys really never do anything for the holiday?”

Joe shrugged. “There are so many holidays to try and remember, little sister – so many anniversaries alone! And if we’re in the middle of a mission, it’s very easy to lose track of the days…it’s just easier to express our love every single day, than have a special time of the year or month to remember.”

Nile nodded slowly. “I guess that’s true…”

“It is,” Nicky nodded. “Perhaps this year, though, we could do something? You said something about chocolate?”

Nile snorted. “If it’s chocolate you’re interested in, better to wait for the day after – all the Valentines chocolate goes on sale.”

“Did I hear the words chocolate and sale?” Andy called as she walked in.

“Perfect timing, boss!” Joe called back cheerfully. “Nile was just telling us about Valentine’s day chocolate.”

“Sounds like my kinda way to celebrate the holiday, even if the hearts everywhere are a bit much,” Andy grumbled as she joined the rest of the gang in the kitchen.

Nile frowned. “Wait a second. How do you know about Valentines and these two don’t?”

Andy smirked. “How did the subject come up again?”

“I was just asking them about their Valentine’s day plans, wanted to know if we should clear out the day of, and Joe started telling me about their wedding that Valentine officiated – ”

Andy burst out laughing. “You guys told her St. Valentine officiated your wedding?? Oh hell, that’s hilarious. Nile, Joe and Nicky were just messing with you – the St. Valentine you’re thinking of was from the 200s, way before these two dumbasses were born, much less immortal.”

Joe chuckled at the glare Nile sent his way. “Oh, come on, you have to admit that was a little funny!”

Nile held the glare for another minute or so before cracking a grin. “Alright, it was.”

“Gonna have to brush up on your history, kid, so they can’t pull the same trick again,” Andy advised as she grabbed more pancakes. 

“That’s so muuuuch,” Nile groaned. “I’m a stupid American, product of our shoddy school system. Can’t you just…not?”

“Perhaps we could be persuaded,” Joe offered, stroking his beard.

As the two at the table continued to banter, with Nicky throwing in a comment or two, Andy smiled. It was nice to see them getting comfortable enough to pull silly pranks on Nile – Booker’s looming betrayal not enough to stop them from having a little fun.

…And discount chocolate did sound like a fantastic idea. Andy resolved to keep an eye on the calendar for the next few weeks; it wouldn’t do to miss out.


End file.
